On Rihanna's Choice and Why Victims Don't Leave

It's been all over the news that Rihanna has decided to give her violent ex Chris Brown another chance. Brown beat her up in 2009 the night before she was supposed to perform on the Grammy's. Leaked police reports revealed that Brown threatened to kill his girlfriend after savagely attacking her and abandoning her in a semi-conscious state. Most of us will remember the horrid picture of Rihanna's face with a split lip, black eyes and bruised neck.

The world was quick to condemn the man she calls "the love of her life," but Rihanna said she remained worried about Brown. "I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help," she explained. "Everybody’s gonna say he's a monster without looking at the source. Who's gonna help him?" - From Rolling Stone Magazine

Many have backlashed and called Rihanna irresponsible and a bad example for the young girls that are her fans. But I am really not writing this article to judge. I am writing it because Rihanna's choice has sparked controversy, and it has brought the issue of domestic violence to the top, an issue that is so often tabooed. Whether it is physical or emotional, many people are the victim of it, or carry around the scars.* (some statistics below)

Please watch the video of a TED talk, a talk by a former victim of domestic violence, a talk of a strong women who vowed it would never happen to her, but it did. A talk that will inspire you not to judge, but to keep an open mind and be there for those that would need you, and not see victims as weak. 

Video: TED talk Jan 2013

Leslie Morgan Steiner

Why domestic violence victims don't leave

Note that I am not making a comparison between Leslie Morgan Steiner's story in this TED talk and Rihanna's because they are very different, and it really isn't my place to judge, I only hope it makes you aware of the complexities involved. 


Domestic Violence: the facts, the issues, the future
Speech by the UK Director for Public Prosecutions, April 2011
UK Statistics

·  Nearly 1 million women experience at least one incident of domestic abuse each year (2009/10 British Crime Survey data: as reported in latest cross-government VAWG strategy)

·  At least 750,000 children a year witness domestic violence (DoH, (2002)  Women's Mental Health : Into the Mainstream, p.16)

·  Two women are killed each week by their partner or ex-partner (Womens Aid (March 2011))

·  76 per cent of all DV incidents are repeat (Flatley, Kershaw, Smith,  Chaplin and Moon (July 2010) BCS - Crime in England and Wales 2009/10 , Home Office)

·  Women experience an average of 35 incidents of domestic violence before reporting an incident to the police (Yearnshaw 1997)